2009年4月7日星期二

Beautiful essay!

Angela Zhao
Exploration is Important for Countries
Exploration is an activity that people can build information and experiences on it. In the past, John Cabot and Jacques Cartier had got some new lands, materials and cultures by the Viking trip. They became hero by the exploration. At the same time, they made a new phase of their countries. By the exploration, there were a number of ideas or decisions began, people started to urban and imposed the new continents. Exploration not only brings the success to the explorer but also gives hope to waiters who at home, exploration push the development of each countries and people got great achievement from different explorations, such as space exploration, exploration on the sea and project exploration.
Space exploration helped the development of countries. It developed inventions and collected some new information of countries. We made rocket travel to the moon and inventors investigate the relationship between the moon and vacuum. The inventors made some machines that can check the moon's surface. Explorers had arrived the surface of the moon. They are all the dreams of people in the past, but now, exploration changed them into a fact. These achievement will lead the exploration to go to a new term. They are also the examples that exposed exploration's important.
The development on the sea made some immense success, it built the heroes of the exploration of a country's history and provided the resources we have today. Marco Polo discovered the Asia after the exploration. Christopher Columbus discovered new lands after he read the stories of Marco. The next man is Cabot, than is Cartier. They all use their clever and courage to finished their complete venture and got the success of their countries. They were the fathers of all the land that they had discovered , they were all the patriots that dedicate for their country without a benefit. The exploration on the sea told the stories of each explorer. They use their hand to write the history of the world. The exploration was built like this, the next myth is waiting for a new hero to continue its secret.
The final example of the exploration is archaeology. Archaeology is different from the volume of first two sections, but it is also important to the improvement of countries. The explorers of this exploration is usually called archaeologist. Their job is to collect and clean the bones of dinosaurs. Some of them are also calculating the phase of these bones, just like to figure out the age of the bone. In fact, archaeologists dig the bones won't make people meeting any dangers and workers only should hardworking on the tunnels, but it is really a great work that was also be loved. It is cherish and cling by people because it can expose the past of people. Many enthusiasts of Jurassic Period are enjoy it very much. Inventors understand the reason of the birth of human by the archaeology. Now, there are many facts haven't been exposed, so there are many chances to develop this great program. many inventors' path of future had been illuminated by the archaeological exploration.
Exploration not only brings the success to explorers but also gives hope to the waiters who at home, exploration pushed the development of each country, it also got great achievement from many different ways, such us space exploration, exploration on the sea and archaeology. At this period, there are many works are cling with the exploration. Some huge achievements are built by this great projects. Exploration lives with the country's society and universal. In the future, the exploration will persist to lead the countries' development and the people's knowledge will be more and more, the level of people will be better and better.
Questions:
1. What is your puppet show about? (5-8 sentences)
My group's puppet show is about Cabot. At the first section, Cabot will go to the palace to meet the emperor and share his opinion. After the kin agreed him to discover the Asia, Cabot will go and get his sailors. On the sea, Cabot is going to tell the story about he and his wife. On the other day, they reach to the new land and they will find some Indians, the war will be disclosing at that time. Finally, Cabot will bring his achievements to the Europe, but until he died, he even didn't know the land that he had found is not Asia, it is New found land.
2.. Who are the characters? Which student is the voice of the character?
Our characters are Cabot, Cabot's wife , The kin of Europe, three sailors and four Indians, a fish, a crow and a fairy of the sea. Nina control Cabot's voice. Rena is the leader of the Indians. Jessie is the kin. I am the fish and a crow. All of us are going to be the sailors and Indians.
3. What did you learn from making the puppet show? (3-5 sentences)
I think make puppet show is a interesting and amazing work. I like work with my group members. At the first day, we are not very enjoy it, but when we begin to work on it, we laugh a lot. We know what should we do, we cooperated with each other and have some fun. I think we know more about others and improve ourselves. We all got growth during this activity. It can practice and increase our ability. By these time, I understand a valuable experiences. If we wants to complete this work, all of us have to attend and accommodate every body's work. Now, our work is going to be finished. I was proud of our teamwork because we all hard working.
4. What do you want me to notice when I am marking your puppet show? (3-5 sentences)
I would say everything. I am sure that you will be astound by our group's puppet show. I think our puppet show is a delicate comedy. It consist to all the happy of our members. It also contains our happy time during the puppet show.
5. Did your group work well together? Tell me 3 reasons why or why not.Bonus- Post a picture of your puppet show on your blog.
1the stage is beautiful.
2we used two weeks to project our puppet show.
3our group member made a amazing drama for the audiences.

1 条评论:

  1. Focus 4/4

    You have a clear purpose. Your essay discusses exploration from the beginning to the end of your essay.

    Organization 4/4
    I like the way you have clear paragraphs. Each paragraph talks about the idea they are supposed to. You have an effective introduction.

    Usage 3/4

    You generally have no mistakes with your spelling and grammar.
    However, there are some little mistakes. Please read your essay again.
    Check your subject-verb agreement.

    Style 3.5/4

    I like the way you use the correct vocabulary. Remember to sound formal. Don’t sound colloquial. Try to use higher level vocabulary. Instead of “man”, use “explorer”. Instead of “job”, use “career”. Instead of “chance” use “opportunity”.

    Content 4/4

    You have very creative ideas for your essays. I really like reading it. Keep it up!

    18.5/20 x 2 = 37/40

    Good essay!

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